I felt I needed to stop for a moment and jot some things down as I never want to forget the special phase she is in right now. She is in a strongly obsessive "Mommy phase". Right now, her default phrase, when there is a lull in things going on, when she has nothing else to say, when she first sees me in the morning...etc...is: "I love you and nobody else" or "I love you more than anything in this whole world, Mommy!" Actually, the song that is stuck in her head currently is "I love you and nobody else" sung to the tune of "Skip to the loo my darling". She often wants to drop everything and just come into my arms for a cuddle break...several times each day. She loves to tell me that I am so so beautiful - that I am more beautiful than any Mommy. She has also told me several times that when she grows up, she wants to be a fun and playful mommy just like me. Now THAT was the biggest compliment!
One night at dinner, (I was under the weather with a cold) Mark asked Ivy "how does your Mama still look so beautiful even when she is so sick?" and do you know what that darling girl said? She replied with "it's because of her heart. She has a kind heart and that makes her beautiful". *Tears* Wow. She's 5.
This girl has stolen my heart. It may be unhealthy, but considering our circumstances, I also think it is highly understandable - but I am extremely attached and obsessed and reliant upon this precious girl. I feel like she is my lifeline - she gives me purpose and keeps me going. Her love is the only thing that can even try to get close to filling the void that has been lost with Vienne. Of course, that void will NEVER be filled...but Ivy's love sure does help a LOT. We are best of friends and I hope to always be.
